Delay the Scroll: Why More Parents Are Choosing to Hold the Line on Smartphones

In a world dominated by technology, the question of when to introduce social media and smartphones to our kids is crucial. Every parent hopes to raise thoughtful, confident, and strong children. Yet, with screens constantly in their faces, protecting their mental well-being feels tougher than ever.

While many parents are aware of the dangers posed by apps like TikTok and Instagram for younger children, the fear of kids feeling excluded often sways their decisions.

So what’s the answer?

We band together. We make a collective choice to delay social media and smartphone use for as long as possible as a community. 

That way, no one child stands out. No one feels left behind. And every child gets the gift of a longer childhood.

The State of Teenage Phone Use

Recent statistics show a concerning reality: about 50% of children report being online nearly continuously. This is alarming and does not support healthy childhood development. When children fixate on screens, they forfeit meaningful opportunities for face-to-face engagement.

A young girl, captivated by her mobile phone, stands outside, fully absorbed in the digital world.

Social skills such as making eye contact, reading body language, and holding conversations are critical for emotional growth. In Australia, teens spend an average of three hours on devices during weekdays and more than four hours on weekends. That's time that could be spent developing friendships and engaging in imaginative play, both of which are crucial for their emotional well-being.

Instead of forming lasting friendships or connecting with peers, many kids are mesmerized by their screens. This growing dependency has been closely linked to rising rates of anxiety, depression, and social isolation among young people. While social media is advertised as a way to connect, for many kids, it results in feelings of loneliness.

The Benefits of Free-Range Parenting

When we think back to our own childhoods, many of us remember playing outside, riding bikes, and adventuring with friends. We played with friends, we rode our bikes to our mates house, we played footy, cricket, made jumps for our bikes and skateboards in our street, went to the video shop for an hour on a Friday night and had to be home when the street lights went on, we laughed, joked, pushed our boundaries.  

So now take that time we had and reduce it by 50%.

·      50% less laughing

·      50% less interactions with our friends

·      50% less unsupervised time

·      50% less smiling

·      50 % - 100% less reading (they don’t have the attention span). https://letgrow.org/

A vintage orange dial phone

In our childhood girls would call from a landline after school and have a one-on-one conversation for hours.  Boys would be more likely to call and say do you want to hang out? The important thing here is One-on-One time,

In contrast, excessive screen time creates a void, depriving kids of important real-world interactions. As parents, we can counteract this trend by collectively limiting smartphone use and promoting physical activities that enhance creativity and connection.

The Social Comparison Trap

In today's hyper-connected world, children often feel pressured to measure up to their peers. Social media platforms like TikTok and Instagram amplify this issue, showcasing curated idealised versions of everyday life.

A group of friends, dressed similarly, sit on a bench at the train station,

Studies have shown that prolonged exposure to these unrealistic portrayals can lead to feelings of inadequacy. For instance, young girls may feel less confident about their appearance after browsing photos of influencers. By postponing their access to social media, we give our children the time and space to develop their self-worth on their terms.

Creating a supportive home environment is essential. By discussing the pressures of social media openly, sharing personal experiences, and showing empathy, we help our children know that they can confidently express themselves. Together, we can prioritise emotional health over fleeting trends.

Are phones dangerous

These devices are designed by teams of Psychologists and Engineers to hold attention as long as possible.  As we now know, the generations that have grown up with smart phones and devices are the most socially isolated, depressed and anxious generations we have ever known.  Andrew Huberman suggests that phones and digital devices are rewiring of our brains and messing with our internal reward systems.  So the answer is a very clear yes, it does damage brains and development.

This generation also does not get away with anything, they get busted for everything.  When we were young we could make mistakes, low cost ones that we could recover from very quickly, learn and grow.  Our children know the rules better than we do.  One wrong move on social media and they’re socially ostracised or it even may affect them getting a job when they are older.  So what does that mean? It means that they are scared. Scared of other people, their friends opinions, voicing their own opinion and a lack of trust is causing many of the mental health issues we are seeing now.

The Dangers of Pornography on Smartphones

This is one of the hardest parts of the conversation, but we can’t ignore it.

As a counsellor, I’m seeing more and more young people some as young as nine whose parents have discovered pornography on their child’s device. Not by accident. But through regular, repeated access. These are good kids. Curious kids. Kids who didn’t go looking for something harmful, but who stumbled into something their brains simply weren’t ready for.

Here’s the thing: once they’ve seen it, they can’t unsee it.

Pornography isn’t just a “naughty” thing on the internet. It rewires developing brains. It creates distorted views about relationships, sex, power and consent. It desensitises young people to real intimacy and, in some cases, contributes to increased anxiety, secrecy, and shame. And unlike the old days, this isn’t hidden on the top shelf of a newsagent that you have to buy from a person.  

It’s in their pocket. Always. On demand. Free. Unfiltered. 

Even apps like TikTok, Instagram and YouTube can lead kids down a rabbit hole of hyper sexualised content within minutes. 

If that doesn’t raise the alarm bell, I don’t know what will.

The earlier kids are exposed, the more damaging the effects can be. That’s not scare-mongering it’s just the reality we’re working with.

As parents, we have a responsibility to protect our kids from this exposure. And the simplest, most effective way to do that? Delay giving them the tools to access it. Delay the phone. Delay the internet. Delay the temptation.

It’s not about distrust — it’s about development. Let their brains and bodies grow first.

https://aifs.gov.au/research/research-snapshots/effects-pornography-children-and-young-people

The Role of Community Support

Raising kids is rarely a solo endeavor; it's a community project. To tackle the challenges posed by technology, it's crucial for parents to join forces and establish shared goals for limiting smartphone and social media use.

By creating community guidelines that encourage screen-free time, parents can provide safe spaces for children to naturally engage with one another. Activities such as neighborhood potlucks, sports leagues, or hiking trips offer enjoyable alternatives that nurture social skills.

Engaging schools in discussions about healthy tech use can increase awareness among educators. By collaborating on workshops about limiting screen time, parents and teachers create a unified front against the excessive digital engagement children face today.

What Is Hold The Line?

We have created a practical toolkit for parents who want more jumping in puddles, less scrolling through reels. No lectures. No judgement. Just tools, prompts, and packs to help you:

- Talk to your kids about healthy tech habits

- Set up device rules everyone agrees to

- Chat with neighbours about screen-free play

- Run conversations at school or with your parent group

Explore the free resources at Hold the Line: https://holdtheline.replit.app

Smartphone Alternatives for Kids: Creative Ideas to Delay the First Phone

Delaying smartphones doesn't mean saying 'no' to your child's need for connection, independence, or belonging. It just means finding creative ways to meet those needs without handing over a device too soon.

"Want to Message a Friend?"

Plan a Monthly Playdate InsteadInstead of texting, offer regular face-to-face time. Set up a once-a-month Friday late stay at a friend's house or alternate weekend playdates. Kids feel connected — and you stay in the loop.

Install a Family Landline or Shared Mobile

A simple, low-tech way to let kids connect with friends or call home. It puts communication back in the hands of the whole family, not just one device in one pocket.

Create a Friend Letterbox

Encourage kids to write notes or drawings and deliver them to neighbours or classmates. It's old-school connection, and kids love the creativity of real mail.

More Freedom, More Trust

Offer increasing independence like walking home from school once a week, visiting the local milk bar, or choosing their own lunch one day. Let them earn privileges not by owning a phone, but by showing responsibility.

"Phone Party Alternative" Box

When everyone else is getting a phone at 10 or 12, create an exciting alternative: A "Freedom Pack" think: public transport card, watch, diary, vouchers, camera, map, or adventure book. It marks a milestone without the tech.

Offer a Timeline and Stick to It

Some kids feel more secure knowing when they will get a phone. Set an age or stage (e.g., Year 8 or high school start), and make it feel like something they're working toward — not missing out on.

Setting Boundaries at Home (and When They’re Out)

We all remember watching that one scary movie at a sleepover — mine was Happy Birthday to Me, and it gave me nightmares for years. These days, it’s not just horror films. Kids are accidentally (or sometimes deliberately) exposed to dark, violent, or sexualised content on YouTube, TikTok, or streaming services — often when visiting someone else’s house. That’s why it’s important to not just set tech rules at home, but also prepare your child for what to do if they feel uncomfortable elsewhere.

Help them prepare a simple exit plan: if something feels off, they can say they need the bathroom, or say they’re not feeling well and want to come home. Let them know they’ll never be in trouble for speaking up and that you’ve got their back. Setting the expectation early gives them confidence to protect their own boundaries, even when you’re not around.

Similarly prior to granting access, parents should talk about the associated responsibilities. Discuss concepts like online privacy, the dangers of cyberbullying, and the importance of managing screen time. This preparation helps kids cultivate critical thinking skills, enabling them to discern between healthy and unhealthy online interactions.

Alternatives to smart phones — And They're Great

Your child doesn’t need a smartphone to stay connected. In fact, there are some fantastic, healthy alternatives:

• Safe Phones / Retro Phones

  Basic black-and-white phones or flip phones that call and text only. The Nokia 3310 is back — and under $100. Let’s give them the pleasure of playing Snake and calling their friends the old-school way.

  
  

  And let’s stop calling them “dumb phones.” No kid wants something that sounds second-rate. These are safe phones. Retro phones. Freedom phones. They do exactly what kids need — and nothing they don’t.  https://www.officeworks.com.au/shop/officeworks/c/technology/mobile-phones/nokia

  
  

• Home phones Yes, bring them back! There’s something special about ringing a friend on the landline after school — we did it, and loved it.  Most of us have a home phone option on our internet plan.https://www.whistleout.com.au/Broadband/Guides/cheap-nbn-internet-home-phone-bundle

• Smartwatches with limited functions Some only call or GPS-track, with no social media or internet access. https://spacetalk.co/products/spacetalk-adventurer-2-smartwatch

These options give kids a way to stay in touch without the downsides of infinite scrolling, exposure to adult content, or the pressure of online performance.

The Call to Action

Delaying children's contact with social media and smartphones requires collective effort. As a community, we can foster an environment that promotes emotional well-being and independence.

It’s vital to nurture our children’s formative years, helping them grow into strong, empathetic, and socially savvy individuals. Allowing them more time away from screens gives them the chance to thrive.

Now is the moment for us to come together and take a stand for our kids, embracing a future where technology enriches rather than defines their lives.

FAQs About Delaying Smartphones

When should my child get a smartphone?

There’s no one-size-fits-all answer, but many experts recommend waiting until at least Year 8 or beyond when emotional regulation, impulse control, and social maturity are stronger.

Won’t my child miss out socially?

If we delay together, no one gets left out. Plus, in-person play, landline calls, and real-world hangouts build deeper friendships than group chats and likes ever will.

What about emergencies?

A basic mobile or smartwatch with call capabilities is usually more than enough. Most kids don’t need full access to the internet to stay safe or connected.

What if other parents don’t agree?

Start with one or two like-minded families. That’s often enough to build momentum. You don’t need everyone...just enough to feel less alone and start a cultural shift in your school or community.

Isn’t this just overreacting?

No. This is prevention, not panic. Every major child health and psychology body is warning about the risks of early tech and social media use. It’s okay to protect our kids even if the world moves faster than we’d like.

What if my child already has a smartphone?

It’s never too late to rethink. Consider switching to a more basic device, setting boundaries together, or removing certain apps. Open, honest conversation goes a long way — and resets are always possible.

Final Thought

This isn’t about banning tech. It’s about giving kids a longer runway before they take off into the digital world and doing it together.

Let’s tap into back our childhood, all the best bits and give our children some of the best experiences that we had. Let’s bring back home phones. Let’s bring back the Drop In!! Let’s bring back the video shop. Let’s get them riding their bikes to knock on a friend’s door. Let’s make childhood… childhood again.

Explore the free resources we have created at Hold the Line: https://holdtheline.replit.app